If any of you are like me, than one of your New Year's resolutions every year involves something about working out more and getting in better shape. In fact I write it in permanent marker because it never seems to go off my list. So every January I once again get reacquainted with my gym. Because I have been venturing to the gym it gives me time to ponder the perplexities that I call the gym lifestyle. So for those of you who are having the same resolution I thought I would impart to you the little tidbits of wisdom I have learned being apart of a gym, and pose questions to you about things that after three years still give me moments to stop and wonder why.
Confessions of a gym member:
These are things that I have done while at my gym. I do this at the expense of some embarrassment in hopes of others who have done the same may not feel so bad.
* I have walked up to a weight machine attempted several times to switch out one of the components only to assume that it must be broken. Moved on to the next machine
just to watch someone else come up the machine switch it and use it three seconds later.
*I have jumped into the pool to do laps and not more than 10 minutes later had someone ask me if they could share a lane. Now I hate to share a lane because of a fear that I might accidentally hit them. So I told them they could take it because I was just finishing up.
*I have pulled into the parking lot of my gym and debated weather or not I should just turn around and go home.
*I have started working out on the stair climber only to five minutes later decide it just wasn't working for me and I left and went home.
*I have worked out on those new walking machines that the feet move independently of each other (note: you should probably concentrate when using this machine.) while watching Price is Right on the T.V. I got too into the showcase and stepped off the belt and almost fell off.
*I have gone to the gym, dropped Max off at the daycare, worked out on the stair climber for 30 minutes, and then went into the bathroom to realize that I had my shirt on backwards. At this point I had a dilemma. I couldn't decide if I should switch only to have everyone know that I figured it out or don't do anything and seem oblivious when I went back to pick up Max.
There have been many more but I will spare you all.
Things I have wondered Why about the gym lifestyle.
*Why does no one use the row machine?
*Why is there always that one guy who struts around in the zebra spandex pants, muscle shirt, and the weight belt, but never seems to be lifting any weights?
*Why are there the same two guys at the gym no matter what time I go?
*Why are there men who wear speedo's in the pool area but never actually get in the pool?
*Why are there these incredibly fit women at the gym and to make yourself feel better you assume they haven't had any kids, only to watch them walk out of the daycare with three kids?
*Why do men have to yell and grunt really loud when they are lifting weights?
*Why is it that older women are the only ones who feel comfortable walking around the locker room naked?
*Why do I end up sitting next to the bigger fellow who slaps is stomach and makes funny noises in the steam room.
*And why after three years do I still feel like everyone at the gym is looking at me and thinking "She must of just joined as a New Year's resolution."
I guess I will keep going and see if I can get some of my questions answered. And good luck to those of you who also feel the gym is one big party that you weren't invited to.
9 comments:
Heather, I loved this post! I don't have answers to your questions, that's why the gym scares and I've never had a membership.
Heather, I am crying because I am laughing so hard. You truly have a way of seeing and writing what we are all thinking! Yes, working out is on my list of things to do again this year. Luckly I am spared the whole gym membership thing by working out at Mark's office. Now that Lauren is old enough, Mark and I go together. However, there were times in my life when I stopped going because I thought someone was watching me because I was the only one there at 6AM! Mark thought I was a little crazy, maybe it was just a good excuse not to go. Also, thanks again for updating our blogs they are so cute and Lauren wanted me to tell you she loves hers! Thanks.
Oh my goodness...this was laugh out loud funny. I have always had those questions as well...I am still so self-conscious in the dressing room I still go home to shower. Have you noticed that people get territorial about the machines...Heaven forbid you should get their machine before them...they just stand there and glare at you! Honey, you should save all your blogs...I'm going to put them in a book and make millions of dollars! They are priceless.
Heather you always know how to make me laugh. My only question is why doesn't anyone wear leg warmers anymore. I was thinking that if I was wearing some kickin' leg warmers then maybe everyone would stop looking at my "problem" areas. What do you think?
Not only did I love your Gym post and laughed at everything you said...but oh how I love everyones comments as well. Amber, Diane, Emily...oh how I love you. You guys have always made me laugh!!!!!!!!! Maybe someday I will tell you the MOST embarrasing, embarrasing gym moment EVER in my life. I will have to get the guts to tell you, it happened 7-8 years ago and Iam still traumatized. :)
Happy New Year everyone.
Heather, you always keep me laughing! Just thinking about the gym is enough for me!
First things first...I never thanked you for my blog hook up. Shows what kind of family I am! You do have skillz ( I though the "z" really added something) and Secondly...I'm in your same boat. I'm trying to get a little more in shape, minus the gym, and it's already drained about $60 out of my pocket on some stupid ball and weights. Let's see how long this lasts.
My newyears resolution for exercise to park at least 10 stalls away from the donut shop front door instead of right in front. That a least gives me some exercise. Love the post, love you guys.
Heather I was laughing so hard at this post! You are hilarious! However, I seriously doubt that you can top my worst gym experience of stepping onto a treadmill not realizing that someone had left the freaking thing on, falling down, sliding off and having my pants getting caught on the belt. Nobody helped me up they all just stared at me with this look on their faces like they couldn't wait to get home to tell someone about the freak at the gym who fell off the treadmill. Ya! Gotta love the gym!
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